Menopause and other M words

Menopause AND puberty in the one house? Oh lord, I’m feeling a hot flush at the very thought! Talk about Nightmare on Hormone Street!

It never occurred to me when I gave birth to my fourth child, a daughter, at the age of 40 that in 12 years or so there would be so much hormone movement in my house that our heads would be spinning.

At its peak, walking on egg shells became common practice. We would both cry for no apparent reason , look at each other with that stay out of my way look and consumed enough chocolate to keep Cadbury’s in business.

My husband would sneak in the front door after work not sure whether we would kiss or kill!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in the US, the number of women having babies in their mid to late thirties has risen in recent years.  Reasons are varied but include career opportunities taking priority, not having found the right person to settle down with, a desire to build financial independence first,  as well as significant improvements in fertility treatments making it easier to become an older mother.

But....here’s something to think about.  A woman having a child in her mid 30’s to early 40’s, may well experience the right of passage that is menopause at the same time as said child is going through puberty.  Sex of the child aside anyone who has raised children through puberty and beyond knows what I am talking about.  Not only are you dealing with your own body as it changes and the associated side effects but then you are parenting someone who is going through their own life changes.  Its irritability factor times two! When you think about it menopause and puberty are a lot alike, they are just going in reverse. It’s an interesting concept / bi-product of more women having children later in their reproductive years and one that I am sure will become more talked about in future years. 

I am happy to say that we did survive this unusual situation, are again best friends and are still eating too much chocolate!

I’d love to know whether you have experienced this and if so how you found the double decker menopause-puberty bus,  and any things you did to ease the transition on all involved.

Have a great week.

Now I know this post won’t be relevant to everyone as Eaden’s diverse clientele spans women of all ages, however given that Eaden Sleepwear was born around the same time that I was going through menopause, I will from time to time, talk about this important topic.

Ok for those of you who didn’t just go “Nope, doesn’t relate to me”......I shall continue ;)

As many of you know, I created Eaden’s range of womens sleepwear when I was going through the rite of passage that we call menopause.  Having taken to sleeping in Rodney’s sports shirts that were made from wicking fabric designed to draw moisture away from the body - I set about designing and producing ladies sleepwear using the same tried and tested principles, just with a feminine twist. 

Given that Eaden has been adopted by women looking for relief from their menopause symptoms (namely night sweats) I thought it important to share some additional tips sourced from Body & Soul.  They interviewed Naturopath Mim Beim for her top tips for easing menopause symptoms. Here’s what she suggested:

• A cool bath (or footbath) before bed, with drops of peppermint oil, cools the body, reducing hot flushes and night sweats.
• Reduce coffee and sugar. Take a B-group vitamin, vitamin C, liquorice root, withania and ginseng.
• Regular, moderate exercise improves mood and sleep. Walking, jogging or weights will increase bone density and reduce the risk of osteoporosis.
• Eat cooling foods such as cucumber, lettuce, pears and raw vegetables. Increase phytooestrogen foods including lentils, beans, tofu, chickpeas, split peas, alfalfa and red clover sprouts.
• St John's wort is useful for the mood changes that can be associated with menopause
• Take herbs such as black cohosh, red clover, soy, chaste tree, hops and wild yam.
• Take care of your bones by taking a calcium supplement with boron and vitamin D. Increase your intake of calcium-rich foods such as salmon, sardines, cheese, milk, almonds, parsley and tahini. Get a bone-density scan.
• Nothing beats a good night's sleep. Take magnesium, exercise, and try Californian poppy, hops, valerian, zizyphus and passionflower.
• Sometimes the symptoms are so distressing; the best remedy may be a short stint of HRT. Don't go through hell just to be natural. Discuss with your doctor.

Would love your comments on whether you have tried any of the above or to share other tips that have worked for you. 

Is this the million dollar question? I have previously written about a girlfriend of mine who was (and still is) considering embracing motherhood on her own at the now ripe (young) age of 38 - http://www.eadensleepwear.com.au/_blog/Menopause_and_other_M_words/post/Mums_to_be/ ) - 6 months has passed and still no closer to finding her Mr Right she is still battling with the penultimate question - which comes first the chicken (husband) or the egg (baby).

And yes I smile as I make those correlations :)

She wants the husband, but she wants the RIGHT husband - a good man with good values who will be a great father. So I pose the question - How long should a successful woman with a good head on her shoulders, wanting a child for all the right reasons wait? Is her "chicken" going to come next month, next year, next decade?? And what opens her up to more judgement - going it alone and being a wonderful single mother now OR waiting 5 years for her Mr Right only to find he doesnt come along - and being childless in her mid 40's wishing she should have followed her dream to be a mum whilst she had the chance??? In an ideal world the chicken happens to bump into her at the supermarket, have almost exactly the same groceries in his trolley, proceed to flirt with her, they both leave their trolleys and go to dinner and then ride off into the sunset - however as many of us know life isnt a rom-com so ..............

Would love to get your opinions on the million dollar question - which should come first, the chicken or the egg??

I get asked often why I chose to make Eaden garments from wicking fabric, also referred to as a high performance fibre or acrylic fibre.  With the push for organic cotton and other natural fabrics gaining momentum, it is a very good question and one that I am happy to discuss.

I chose a high performing fibre purely for its ability to draw moisture away from the body.  Many of you will have heard of this type of fabric used in sporting wear, my goal was always to adopt yet ‘feminize’ the concept to produce a functional fabric that has all of the benefits, but still felt luxurious to wear and looked feminine.

How does Eaden’s High Performing Fabric work?

The “dermisphere” is the air space if you like between your skin and your clothing.  The temperature, activity you engage in and health conditions all affect the dermisphere – as does the fibre that your clothing is constructed from.  The type of fibres and construction of the fabric in the clothing that you wear directly affects the climate of your dermisphere to determine how comfortable (or uncomfortable) you will be. Wicking sleepwear (like Eaden’s) will pick up moisture, formed primarily due to sweating, and transport it to the garments outer surface where the moisture then evaporates. The high performing fibres used by Eaden Sleepwear have been developed especially for this purpose and are considered the most effective is moisture removal.

Moisture Dissipation Test

Moisture dissipation testing sees different fabrics spun dry to evaluate their drying time.  All fabrics start with their own % of moisture based on the fibre’s moisture regain.  Cotton fabrics regain the greatest amount of moisture and take the longest time to dry – so are generally used for standard comparison.  Nylon fabrics have been shown to dry up to 60% faster than cotton and acrylic micro fibre fabrics (similar to those used by Eaden) 75% faster.

I’m always looking for ways to innovate and continually experimenting with various fabrics – looking at ways to integrate high performing fibres with more natural and organic fibres to get the same moisture removal benefits.  But for right now the proof is in the pudding (or fabric in this case) and I am so pleased that the sleepwear Eaden is producing is helping so many people sleep better.  Can’t wait to make it even better in 2012.

I am regularly in touch with mums-to-be who are referred to Eaden and my sleepwear products for their benefits in helping women who are pregnant, sleep better at night.  I didn’t personally experience the whole overheating/ hot nights  thing  in my own pregnancies (I saved all mine up for menopause!) -  but it seems to be very common. The only hot nights I experienced were the ones that resulted in me BECOMING pregnant in the first place!

I write about pregnancy today as I recently had a conversation with a friend about her desire to be a mum – as a 37 year old single woman (not me, her!).  Now, who even knew there was a term for it -  but a women over 30 (or 35 depending on which doctor you go to) giving birth for the first time is called "Elderly Prima Gravidas"? It literally translates to "old first-time mum". I mean really, it has a title?  And since when did 35 become old!?

With the documentary on media personality Sami Lukis airing earlier this year - detailing her quest to have a baby solo in her 40’s fresh on my mind, I began to realise that this is fast becoming a hot topic. With women putting off having children until later in their lives, building successful careers, refusing to settle for “below ordinary”  love lives – who can blame them for not wanting to miss out on motherhood. 

What surprises me though is so that there are so many critical opinions on the issue.  Sami copped a barrage and my friend, whilst considering her options, is definitely considering all the pro’s and con’s, knowing that if she decides to “go it alone” there will be people who think it wrong, that she is not doing what is best for the child, that she is selfish etc. When in effect I look at her and see a woman who I believe would be a wonderful mother, a great provider and someone who would ensure her child had at least one positive male role model in its life.

A young 18 year old girl who gets pregnant from a one night stand and keeps the baby gets less negativity directed at her than a professional 30 something woman doing it alone. Personally I think women of this age have enough to contend with, we should respect their right to choose and support their decision when made from a place where all considerations have been thought through and assessed.  Interested to see whether society’s views on this issue change over the next decade.

Would love to know your thoughts!

Whilst this blog is not officially a menopause blog, my sleepwear business Eaden did start out of my desperation to get a good night’s sleep! I was suffering the usual symptoms of menopause including night sweats and found that normal sleepwear just didn’t cut it, so Eaden Sleepwear was born.  So.......given its origins it seems only fitting that my first official blog post touches on menopause, there I said it MENOPAUSE!

Since starting Eaden Sleepwear just under 2 years ago I have been ecstatic with the general response I have received, I have some wonderful customers and they keep coming back which only strengthens my resolve that I am onto something here that can genuinely make a difference in people’s lives. What started as a product for women experiencing menopause soon seemed to take on a greater cause – there were so many women out there who just seemed to have disrupted sleep patterns due to overheating – they were just “hot blooded” they said or pregnant and suffering night sweats, even ladies with cancer who were experiencing hot sweats said that the product made a difference.  So what I thought was quite a niche customer base quickly seemed to expand, and continues to diversify.

All of the above said, even the toughest of women can have their resolve knocked down a peg or two. I have been slightly bemused at the response my brand has received amongst some (thankfully just a minute few) magazine editors – don’t get me wrong, some have been wonderful! Others (and yes, female) have almost laughed in my face.  Now I know when you are in your 20’s or 30’s menopause is not on your radar, not something you even dare think about. It’s what I like to call an ostrich term (stick your head in the sand and pretend it won’t happen to you). At that age many women aren’t even thinking of having a family yet, so I understand it can be hard to look beyond even that! And night sweats in your 20’s and 30’s takes on a whole different meaning, usually associated with one (or five) too many wines!

So I was gobsmacked that something that every woman will face at some point in their lives was so easily dismissed.  These young women have older sisters, mothers and grandmothers – all about to, going through or having already experienced menopause.  Maybe I was too gullible to think that they would embrace my product, thinking more of people in their life who may actually benefit as opposed to any direct correlation between my product, menopause and where they were at in their own lives at that particular moment.

In any case I learned you can’t please everyone, but you can please some people. And if I can make a difference in the lives of those women who sleep hot (whether it be from pregnancy or other factors), are  going through menopause or other life changes, then it makes what I do worthwhile. And for those who tended to giggle, uttered menopause with such reluctance you would have thought they were afraid of early onset just by saying the words and generally dismissed Eaden and its products – pop the website www.eadensleepwear.com.au  into your internet favourites now, in 20 years you might just need it!

Welcome to the Eaden Blog, a place where I hope to share stories, information, tips and much more about being a mum, grandma, business woman, even a post menopausal woman! Oh but ssshhhh, are we even meant to talk about that? (my first official blog post will address that very issue).

My goal for this blog is to have fun (as much as possible) but to also offer useful tips and information on whatever I deem valuable or is trending at the time. Feel free to comment and get involved – the more interactive the better.